The Faceless Lover is considered by many to be *THE* story of women. It may best or most poetically be found in Apuleius' tale of "Eros and Psyche". Psyche is the daughter of a king who must be wed to the dragon and is left abandoned on the cliff side. The "Monster" is really the god Eros, who knows if she ever looks at him directly the relationship will be over. (One just can't look directly at gods, they are too beautiful and intense). Blindfolded, he takes her to his castle and only comes to her in the dark, making a pact with her to never turn on the light. Eventually she can no long resist and looks, and then the relationship is over for a long time.
The Jungian psychologists say that when the faceless lover comes to us in dreams, it is most profoundly seen as *part of ourselves* that we desire most, and see as (often) the opposite sex. If we just go along with the game, we continue to live in the rich castle of Eros and, according to the Jungians, endlessly chase after these people in real life. Sometimes it works, but usually the pattern just repeats and gets stale. It is said that eventually we either get tired of this game or something tricky happens and we see the faceless lover directly. The common path of growth is to see these figures *qualities* in ourselves and develop them. For example, I could write a short series of qualities that come to mind that remind me of that person; Fast, Handsome, Playful, Analytical, Self-Assured, or whatever, and then try to develop those qualities in myself. Who, after all, can love me more intimately than my higher Self?
(From a dream interpretation website)
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so, stop looking endlessly for that missing part of yourself in others, and start looking the dragon in the eyes. I will not tell you, that you will not die... you will... in a sense. But you will be reborn on that instance, all you have to do is let go.
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